You may have noticed my kinda sorta really long absence-ish.
Well, it is a story of life, stress, more life, stress, stress, stress, Skype, Tumblr, and most importantly: stress. I cannot stress this enough. STREEEESSSS.
Spent a lot of time on Tumblr. I gave it up for Lent and am surprised by how much such a time-sink is something that I've wound up not missing much. Tumblr's a stressful place, I think. That is the conclusion I have come to. I've met some wonderful people there but the general environment isn't a very good one for me, I don't think. it's like this really bad candy that I hate but will eat if it's in the house.
I am more available on Skype than anywhere at the moment, and I've been talking to really close friends there instead of here. (No, I am not going to casually give out my skype to people, please don't ask for it here ;o; )
Also as part of Lent I've been trying to get some bad habits under control and some good ones started. I have noticed for instance that I do not eat healthy at all (mostly I forget to eat breakfast, work through lunch time and thus end up not eating anything till dinner and sometimes I forget dinner until I'm about to go to sleep), so I'm trying to get that fixed. I lost weight due to wisdom teeth pullage a few months back, as at that time I could barely eat anything without terrible pain; thing is I never quite got back to normal eating after that. The weight's stayed off but I'm afraid I'll be underweight soon if I'm not there already (and I wasn't exactly an unhealthy weight before). Already the majority of the pants I own which I really liked basically stay up through faith, and some of them are ones that used to be snug on me. And both my dad and my brother, who almost never comment on people's weights, have noticed how small I've gotten and expressed concern. And if they're noticing, clearly I mustn't look very healthy.
So I've been having to keep in account how much I eat and make sure I'm actually eating healthy amounts. I'm also trying to work in some exercise, which while I've only been doing that for about two or three days thus far, already I'm feeling a little better on that front. (Next up: getting my sleep schedule back to something resembling normal.)
So basically I'm not the healthiest person in the world right now and I'm trying to fix that.
Work is semi-stabilized and I don't utterly suck at drive-thru anymore and I don't generally utterly dread work every week, but on the other hand it's also stressful because some uppermanagement people stress out my managers.
But the most of it is,
worry stress worry worry.
A lot of things have happened in the past more than half a year, most of it not so good, at least half of it life-threatening in nature, all of it involving people I care about (whether internet friends or people I see face-to-face). About seven months ago it all jammed up at once and I'm still feeling the effects of that; on top of more things happening more recently. I have had the rug pulled out under me twice by the same person which has made me reevaluate just about everything; two people are in the hospital and a couple other people are also sick either physically or mentally, and I have been ridiculously stressed about all of the above. I think I have cried at least once per day almost every day since...September? No one's dead so far, thank God, but am really worried.
Basically, I have had zero energy to properly reply to people. I have been drawing but most of it is doodles and of the stuff that isn't, either it's things I'm not gonna show just yet because I'm not ready to, or stuff I drew out of stress and am never showing ever.
I promise I read all of your comments and replies and journals, and I do look at your artwork, and I appreciate all of it, but all my energy is elsewhere for now. Life is kicking me in the shins and I have to go kick it back so I'm gonna be kicking about for a while still.
So I may have said this before; but if I didn't reply to your wonderful comment or comment on your pretty artwork, I swear it's nothing personal. I did read it and take it in account, I just don't have the energy or motivation to reply, or post art. I will say here thank you for all your comments and favorites and everything. I'll try to get back to my regular drawing-ness eventually, but for now, I need to fix me, because me is a mess.
Listening to: I can't go for that
Reading: (no no, no can do)